Task.....Master????

I was out raking leaves the other day. I ended up with eight bags full and I am at least reasonably close to be being completely finished for the year. In the back area behind out house I gazed up at the trees and pretty much only saw bare branches so I know that nothing else can fall until next year at this time. I can’t really say that I enjoy raking leaves, but I do find a sense of accomplishment in it. It fits in with the template of tasks that I find satisfying, if not, well, fun. I like things that provide instant gratification, and the ones I do regularly that fit the bill are raking, doing the dishes, ironing, and most particularly, vacuuming. These all kind of fall into the area of one of the most awful phrases in the language, the “honey do list”. I hate that about as much as the word “kiddos”. Don’t get me started.

This year I got a boost in tending to the leaves. I was at my local hardware store and saw an implement that looked interesting. It was a green plastic item that you insert into the large leaf bags and it folds out into a chute for the leaves. Many, many times when you see things like that that look like they would be a dandy aid, they end up being something that is sent to the trash can. Not this time. This little beauty is close to a godsend. The bag stands up straight. It has more bulk and doesn’t blow over with the slightest breeze, and it creates a wonderful funnel to stuff the leaves into. I can easily say that it cut down my work time by at least a third. There is something oddly empowering about pulling out of the driveway and seeing those bags neatly set up for pickup. Life’s little pleasures, and we surely can use anything like that right now.

We have an old friend coming to town for a brief social distanced visit, so that means a requisite session of vacuuming. To their benefit, my wife Jayne pretty much fancies even the most standard issue event, with even the most familiar friend, as if the Queen Of England were coming over. So, among other things, a vigorous treatment of the carpets is a must. As I noted, while the fact that our house has four levels, and my back is no fan of the process, I get a great deal of pleasure in seeing the carpets in pristine shape when I am done, taking the kind of pleasure in making fancy rows the way that guys who double-cut their lawns do. Of course it is quite fleeting, especially since we have two dogs, who rather quickly besmirch my grand work with paw prints….pronto. The process takes a bit over an hour, which is a good thing, since at about the sixty minute mark, my initial enthusiasm has waned. But the finish line, and a satisfied grin, is not far away

Most evenings I spend time in the kitchen doing the dishes, another task that I don’t mind at all. I don’t eat dinner, but of course my wife Jayne is normal so she does. I generally work a little late and get home after she has cooked and eaten, and I pitch in by cleaning the plates and pans. She has to leave when I do this, however, because she is a prompt and efficient cleaner when she does it, while I pretty much use it as a way to wind down while I have a ballgame or golf tournament on. I often do other things while I am doing the dishes, and this is seen as as dawdling by my wife, and she’s not wrong. So it’s just better if she isn’t around. The job gets done well, it just doesn’t get done quickly.

I don’t have to iron very much, but I kind of like it when I do. Most of my clothes don’t require it, and often the ones that do get sent to the dry cleaner. But when the job is called for, I dig into it with enthusiasm. It is clearly another of those instant gratification things, turning something you wouldn’t dare wear, into something sharp and enjoyable to put on. I’ll iron some of my wife’s things, too. Ah, but just like the vacuuming there seems to be a limit. I would say mine is in the area of eight items. The smile starts to go away about then.

Alas, clothing does create a task I hold far, far, less enthusiasm for. That is dealing with clean laundry coming out of the washing machine. Most of the things I wash are not a problem at all. Generally it’s gym clothes and I just have to shlep them into the dryer. Maybe some jeans to hang up. But I definitely consider myself some kind of husband hero when I take up the task of dealing with my wife’s laundry. She doesn’t like doing it, and when she has something going on, I grudgingly take up the task. Her laundry is almost entirely blouses and, um, “intimates”.

This task is done by one of us every week, generally on Saturday, so I am always astounded by the abundance of items, almost all of which have to be hung, not put in the dryer. The turtle necks are abundant and the biggest pain in the ass. My wife insists on washing them inside out, so each item requires being turned right side out, then put on a hanger. The items seem to come out of the washer at a clip that resembles a clown car at the circus. The undergarments get draped over the curtain road, and there are a bundle of those, too. I guess I should be happy that my beautiful bride is neat to the point that there are far more of the intimates than there are days of the week.

I do really hate that task, but there is great satisfaction even in this case. I am fully aware of how Jayne share’s my disdain for this laborious effort, and how happy she is when she comes back from running errands, or rehearsing her singing, to find that she doesn’t have to do it. I know it hardly makes up for it, but it is one small way I can make up for the fact that I cannot fix anything. I am the exact opposite of a handyman. Luckily we have one of those fantastic neighbors, who has every tool, and every bit of expertise in this area that I lack. Yes, Ken is a godsend, indeed.

But that aside, the tasks I do embrace are very much appreciated at home. Even if the carpet only looks fantastic for a couple of days, and the dishes are going to get dirty very soon, I like the feeling that comes with having your life’s partner appreciate what you chip in on.

We all have been stuck at home far too often in 2020, and home projects are probably things that everyone has just about had enough of. But the small list of things that do make me smile around the house is something to cling to in this horrendous year.