Dog Day Afternoon....and Evening....and Morning
We have a house guest at our home right now. Tom is a great friend of my wife whom she met in college, and he is always a treat to have for a visit. He and Jayne are both opera singers, and when he is around, our abode is like the set of a musical. They sing about what they are doing, be it cooking, or doing the dishes, or picking up around the house. It’s pretty funny. That is not related to this piece, but it is always amusing. Tom and his partner live in Cincinnati in a large home, and recently they have gotten two cats, and they have fully embraced the cat experience.
I am not a fan of cats. In my first marriage we had a cat. There is nothing particularly annoying to me about cats, it’s just that they seem to be to be lovely, aloof, selfish, and not particularly loving creatures. When I say that to a cat person, they of course disagree. But, all I have to do is play the classic George Carlin bit “Dogs and Cats”, and they laugh and nod knowingly as Carlin portrays the cats in pretty much the same way that I just described them.
Dogs, however, are anything but aloof, relentlessly loving, needy, frisky, and fun. I like dogs quite a bit, but I have an ambivalent attitude toward them. I am glad to have dogs in our home, actually I would be more glad to have one (I’ll get into that in a little bit) I also am honest enough to say that if I lived alone, I very much doubt that I would have a dog, or any pets for that matter. That has been doubled down on since I married Jayne, because she has shown me what a truly great dog owner is like, and I now couldn’t be just a decent owner, who just treated their pet like a toy of sorts.
We do indeed have two dogs. Quinnie, a pure bred corgi, and Charlie, a rescue. Quinnie is from a show dog litter and cost a small fortune, and Charlie of course, cost a pittance. Quinnie is our second corgi, coming aboard just a few weeks after the passing of Daunty, who was Jayne’s dog when I met her. Charlie was supposed to be a long-haired dachshund, which he is…in part. We came to find out that the other part is Jack Russel terrier, and even my wife admits she might not have added Charlie to our happy home had she known about the volatile mix.
Charlie has been around for several years now, and in the previous decade plus that we had been together, on multiple occasions Jayne had lobbied for a playmate for whichever corgi was in place at the moment. My answer was the same every time, a mixture of a joke and a very strong opinion. “The total of dogs and husbands is two…..you decide”. I virtually never put my foot down on anything, so Jayne acquiesced…..until……
I was at work when I received an email with a picture of a cute and forlorn pup. My wife had sent it to me, forwarded from her sister, with yet another request for a second pooch. I typed out the standard answer, and went about my business. But my business would soon feature a business trip, I believe to a Final Four. I returned, walked up the stairs from the garage, and there in my wife’s lap was Charlie. Now the joke was on me. My wife had defied my wishes, and seeing as I am still around, decided the total would be three.
Charlie is a delight in many ways. He is as cute as can be, and very loving. Despite the fact he is mostly non-stop action, and barks at anything that moves, he also is a dedicated lap dog for my wife, about the only quality that the perfect Quinnie does not possess. After terrorizing the house for hours, he tranquilly settles in Jayne’s lap in her office, in bed, or when we watch television.
Quinnie is just the sweetest and most perfect pet you can have. Her face seems perpetually twisted into a smile, her bounding little gait is a joy to behold, she loves all strangers, and she is restful, and generally sedate in the home. Her only downside is that she does shed profusely. Now, I said she was restful and sedate, and that certainly was completely true before Charlie entered the picture. But corgis are herders by nature, so she instinctively wants to herd Charlie. Which means that when he barks at passing dogs, trucks, or, well, just about anything, so does she. Around noontime many people walk their dogs by our house, and that span of time in generally a cacophony of yelping sounds.
Jayne is indeed the best owner a dog could ever want. Relentlessly attentive, caring, and loving, she also has her own set of ground rules that create even more joy for the pups. The dogs are pretty much not allowed to spend more than four hours alone at home. If Jayne or I can’t let them out, or give them a little treat for that time frame, we enlist our wonderful neighbor Ken, or Jayne’s sister Emily, who lives nearby, to attend to them. Back when you could actually go on vacation, we would enlist a wonderful dog sitter that would stay in our home and provide tremendously attentive care. Jayne also on multiple occasions during the day makes it play time for the dogs, tossing toys about and playing various forms of fetch. I would guess that at any time we have at least thirty dog toys around, that number varying depending on how many Charlie has destroyed recently.
One of the reasons for trying to insist on one dog was that back when we had Daunty, or just Quinnie, we sometimes would just take off on a Saturday and end up spending the night somewhere on a whim in a dog-friendly hotel. That ain’t happening with the two of them, and it likely wouldn’t even if we only had the manic Charlie.
As I mentioned Charlie cost almost nothing, but he sure as hell hasn’t cost us nothing ever since. He was a poorly treated animal in his brief first home, and he was caged, and often abandoned, and wasn’t trained well. I won’t go into all the details, but we now have thousands of dollars of very nice fencing on our property because Charlie can jump like a kangaroo, and our rather high rock wall and previous fencing were no match for his escapability. We also now have plenty of lovely hardwood floor areas where once there was carpeting.
Charlie can toss in many other misbehaviors. He’ll eat anything he can reach. Early in his time with us he once leaped on to the dining room table and ate an entire stick of butter. Jayne has long since given up on trying to keep him off of that table to scour for crumbs after either of us has had a meal or snack, and we are talking about a glass table. Just think of anything that a dog might do that would cause a groan or worse, and Charlie has likely done it. On multiple occasions Jayne has pledged to “throw you in the river, Charlie”, but of course that is hyperbole……..yes, hyperbole….I think.
Jayne broke her ankle early last summer and subsequently has had some health challenges that have mitigated one of the joys of her life, and that of the dogs, long and vigorous walks. Be it through the neighborhood or parks large and small. I have had to pick up the slack, but I am admittedly not as enthusiastic about it. I like it, but don’t love it, and have to be prodded. I do enjoy walking them with Jayne, but when it’s just me, not so much. They do not get nearly the amount of trotting time as they did, or will again soon.
But today I did take each of the dogs on a separate walk in the neighborhood. Quinnie just won’t go very far when you walk them together, and also they have been spoiled by Ken the neighbor’s gracious handing out of treats whenever he sees them out and about. He lives right across the street, so we usually have to get the treat part out of the way before the walking part gets done. Walking each one is like walking two different species, not just two different dogs. Charlie pretty much walks me, and actually we run quite a bit. Quinnie gently ambles along with her bouncing little gait, pretty much as perfectly as she does everything else.
In the end, the dogs make me smile. But what really makes me smile is seeing the complete joy that Jayne gets from what truly are the equivalent of children. She adores all dogs, and when you add in the fact that they are ours, it’s exponentially expanded. She truly believes things about their intelligence and sensitivity that I could never subscribe to, but that difference is all part of our families great canine package.
Even if I still believe that the total of husbands and dogs should be two.